4.14.2012

Daily Struggles with a Toddler

 Hazel in the morning.  Not too much else to say.

She dressed herself, including the head piece, and said she was going running with her horse.


INFO: I typed up this post a few weeks ago when I was really frustrated and having a bad day, but Brendan told me it was too harsh, so I never posted it.  I decided to post it just because I thought someone might be able to relate and could laugh about it.  As difficult as she can be, just look at that cute face with her 80's outfit.  How can you not like her?  


When I think of Hazel, I'm reminded of this poem my mom would recite to us as kids from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
There was a little girl, who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead,
And when she was good, she was very, very good,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

She stood on her head, on her little trundle bed,
With nobody by for to hinder;
She screamed and she squalled, she yelled and she bawled,
And drummed her little heels against the winder.Her mother heard the noise, and thought it was the boys
Playing in the empty attic,
She rushed upstairs, and caught her unawares,
And spanked her, most emphatic.
Hazel can definitely be good and so cute.  Yesterday she asked me if I could do her a favorite (favor).  But most of the time I feel she is on the other end of the spectrum.  This poem describes some of her fits so well.  Instead of drumming her heels against the window its her bedroom door and not only with her heels, but also her fists and other objects.


Does anyone else wake up somedays feeling overwhelmed because you know you have another day ahead of you dealing with your toddler?  Here is what our morning was like today.  Woke up at 8:30 and Hazel wanted something to eat.  She wanted oatmeal, and I told her it would take a little while to make (we make steel cut oats so its about 20 min).  She also wanted to get out her step stool and help.  She poured in the oats and when I went to have her pour in the water she said her hand was too tired(what???) OK, so no more help from Hazel.  After a little while she starts complaining its taking FOREVER to be done (imagine a whiny voice.)  I ask her to help me clean up her room and pick up the toys while we wait and her response was that her hands were too greasy from the quesadilla she ate last night.  I tell her we can just wash her hands and of course she doesn't want to (she comes up with the best excuses.)  When I start to dish out the oatmeal, she insists that Hattie has her own bowl.  I told her Hattie could just share with me, but that didn't go over very well.  Hazel was hungry so the eating part went well.  After eating, Hazel sees Hattie standing holding on to her step stool so Hazel gets mad and knocks Hattie down to the floor and tells her not to touch her stool.  Hattie is screaming and I put Hazel in her room for a timeout (we usually put her on a stool in the bathroom, but she purposely peed on the floor the night before when she was in timeout and I hadn't cleaned it up yet, yeah I know.)  Hazel starts her fit of banging on the bedroom door screaming everything you can imagine....she doesn't like me, she likes dad, there are monsters in her room, she wants to come out, then she starts banging loud toys on the door. The fit goes on for a while, and after I deal with the fit/timeout and apologies are said she is out of her room.  We've only been up for about an hour and I'm ready to go back to bed.


It's something different every morning.  The other day she was in the bath and I asked her to stand up so I could wrap her in her towel and her legs were too tired (That is her excuse for everything these days.  Some body part is too tired to do something she doesn't want to do.)


I feel like I will always be late as long as Hazel is with me.  It seems no matter where we are going, she is always throwing a fit about something right as we are going out the door.  I even plan extra time knowing there will be a fit and we are still late.  


You may be thinking kids throw fits when they are tired, maybe she isn't getting enough sleep.  Well I know she isn't getting enough sleep, but she is very stubborn.  She stopped taking naps around 18 months and some nights won't go to bed until midnight.  You may be thinking that I just need to be firm and put her in her room.  We've tried that.  She bangs and screams on the door.  She knows I don't like it when she pees on the carpet, so she will scream that she is going to pee, then she says I'm peeing, then she says I peed.  She knows I will open the door and come in and clean it up.  I clean it up, and then she is back in her room throwing her fit.  She gags herself on purpose so she will throw up.  She yells, I'm going to throw up (because she knows I will come in and clean it up.)  Brendan is busy studying most nights, so I'm left to this routine by myself.  Night after night of this is too much for me to handle, so I've just given in.  It's much easier to let her stay up.


Speaking of no sleep, Brendan sent me this video the other day and I could not stop laughing.  Boy could I relate.




After watching this video, I told Brendan I'm obviously not the only mom throwing fits.


After such a long and negative post, I thought I should say something positive.  Even though Hazel can be tough to deal with at times, I am thankful to be a mom and have healthy kids.  We all have bad days.   

7 comments:

Tabitha said...

Well I can definitely relate to the whole sleep deprived thing. I don't think I have slept through the night in 3 years. And I don't think I'll ever get 8 straight hours of sleep again...at least not while I have kids in the house.

It is so funny that husbands can just sleep through the whole thing while moms are waking up multiple times during the night to comfort kids, clean up wet sheets, etc.

I wonder what will happen in our home once we have another little one here.

We need to have more play dates so our kids can wear each other out :)

Jess said...

Oh man! What a day! And only an hour into it. I can relate to being sleep deprived- this video's pretty right on. :) haha. Made me laugh my head off. Thanks. Hope that cutie pie has a good day tomorrow (and good night tonight!). Love and hugs from me!

Taryn said...

"Brendan is busy studying most nights, so I'm left to this routine by myself." I love Brendan, but this sums up why he should not be allowed to dictate what is too harsh and un-postable! I'm glad that you went ahead an posted it...dads do a lot of work, and understand most of what it takes, but you are on call 24-7 without exception, so you are FAR more qualified to determine if you (and your children)have had a bad day. If you can't vent here, then where can you vent?

I can second your assessment that Hazel's naughty behavior is really naughty. I can feel your frustration because I'm a 'harsh' mom who can say that my toddler is a tyrant most days, and I DO NOT feel bad saying that because I am trapped in his nightmarish kingdom every.single.day.

I have, at VERY LEAST, earned the right to call a spade a spade, since no one is scrambling to bestow any medals of honor for my daily herculean mothering efforts :).

I can relate with a lot of what you are describing, and have been comforted to know that many of the mothers of other toddlers around me are complaining about (and completely perplexed by) these kind of behavioral issues themselves. I really hope that this phase passes soon for all of us!

Kirsten and Eric said...

Hang in there! Remember that you're not alone in this! Some days are like that at our house too.

When I read about Hazel I just laughed because that is exactly how I used to act when I was her age (charming, I know). My mom said that at night when putting me to bed that I would do everything too, including holding my breath until I passed out, to stay up. The doctor told her just to let me pass out, throw up, pee all over or whatever, but to absolutely NOT go in the room because it would start it all over again. She said it was so hard for the first week, but after that I would stop doing all of those things. Might be something you want to try. I'm sure you probably already have tried, but might be worth trying again. Just a thought. You know Hazel better than me so you probably know what works and what doesn't. Good luck! Just remember too that Hazel is alive and breathing and that's the most important thing.

Jenilyn said...

Ha ha, toddlers are the best and the Worst! Wes was the Worst toddler. From 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 he did tons of stuff like this, and I would call my mom crying wondering what I was doing wrong. I tried so many different tactics but toddlers by nature are unreasonable. As soon as he turned 3 1/2 he was a different boy. Mae was hard too, especially with the going to bed thing, but she is just 3 1/2 now and it is like night and day compared to a few months ago. Hang in there for another 8? months. Also don't feel bad being harsh, we finally beat the going to bed thing with Mae by being Very firm and not giving in and it took about 4 days and its been great since then. As long as you give lots of love along with being firm you will be fine:)

Christin Foscarini said...

Seriously thanks for posting this. I don't want to say I know exactly how you feel, because I know every child is different, but wow! I feel I can relate. You love them so much, but sometimes they are just little monsters :) I'm so glad what you said about just giving in about bed time. I have totally had to do the same thing with River. It's just not worth the freak out/ anxiety / screaming that follows. Every child is different and you just have to do what works for that child. I feel like that is something River has taught me, after trying everything everyone else suggested I just had to learn I'm the Mom and I know what works best for him and our family :)
Good Luck on this journey of Momhood!

Loni said...

Oh the joy of motherhood! I can totally relate. We just took pacifiers away from the twins.

I have days where Geoff comes home from work and I say I NEED TO GET OUTTA HERE NOW! He says why, what's wrong? And i can't even get the words out i just start crying. I knew motherhood would be hard but I didn't know I would be mentally, emotionally, and physically abused by my own children (is that a little dramatic? maybe. but that's what it feels like somedays).

You're so not alone!